The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
