Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
