My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
