Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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