the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i believe in u and ur pee
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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