ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
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