he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
