My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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