So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
