I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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