I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
