I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
