The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
