Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
