garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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