I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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