I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He passed out mid-signature
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
