Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
kristin has been a bad kristin
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
