You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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