so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
