# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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