She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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