ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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