she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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