A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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