I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
