So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
