I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
