Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
