Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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