Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
