Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
