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What tipped you off? The sombrero?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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