p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
