Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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