Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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