Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
