i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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