The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
