3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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