It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
