is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
