i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize