normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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