Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
