Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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