And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
