Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
