I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
