im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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