He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
